Have u ever…..???

Have u ever feel tiny b4? have u ever feel like u r a fool? have u ever feel like u are irritating? have u ever feel like u are lame? I fee like that this way…

I was in high spirit today. Went for diamond peeling for my face, particularly my nose…. I have always been very concerned abt the scar (large pore) on my nose. I went to see a doctor and he said the nose skin is very thin and it is highly unlikely to remove those scars…. i was sad after hearing that and i told my mum…. my mum is a member of a beauty salon and she helps mi to enquire abt those scars. They recommend diamond peeling and they said the scars will be removed by the 5th session. Mummy signed a seven time package for mi… i was thrilled. I went for the first session today. I didnt expect the pain to be soooo unbearable… its like using stones, exert force on my skin, using the stone to rub against the skin…. it is soooooo painful! But for all it takes, as long as the scars will be removed, i will hang on! i am suppose to go for 7 sessions, every 2 weeks. I can do it!

I was happy though the session was painful cos i know the scars gonna go. High in spirit, i went home. Was chatting with my uni friends through msn. Telling them a riddle. One of my uni friend whom i happen to regard as my bff was upset today… i dun noe wats the reason though… relationship problem??? family problem??? i dun noe… But he upsetted mi…. he is so cold. i feel like i am irritating him… i know he wasnt feeling very good these days… i was just trying to cheer him up…when i told him i went for the diamond peeling, he said: and? i feel offended… well not offended… i think i feel i am not important and i am lame…
I try to tell him a joke to cheer him up and b4 i tell him the ans, he figured out. and i ask if he is laughing, he said no. and just kept quiet… My confidence level to tell jokes and riddle dropped… feel so tiny and stupid…

i do know that he is feeling low so i msg him to cheer him up, telling him i am with him…. as usual he didnt reply… which makes mi feel more stupid and lame…. i feel that i am irritating….

Am i really that bad in telling jokes? Am i really very irritating? I am just trying to show that i care and my friend is not alone… whenever i feel low, i always hope that someone will be there and tellmi that i am not alone… i thought he may need that too.

I guess i am different…. i am weird…

 Maybe i should stop telling jokes to friends. It just makes mi look stupid… I need to be away to find my confident again…. i had already say bye to facebook, i guess its time to say bye to msn…. i need time to forget and gain my confidence back. Bye msn….

A long day

Have been sneezing quite often recently…. but not flu…. just sneeze…. hmm… somebody missing mi? somebody scolding mi? haha…. Well, watever, i know my existence is important lah~~

Slept at 4am yesterday…. Same problem… insomnia…. woke up at 7am this morning and followed papa and mummy to work…. I managed to print out all my lecture notes for my 2 summer units. yay! at least i have done something.

We had lunch and went to do some shopping… my papa was very worried that we will freeze to death in Hokkaido…lol…. ya… so we went to buy winter wear…

I am kind of excited for the trip….. skii trip, hot spring…. hee… excited! hmm… but i was told we cant wear anything in the hot spring…. a little i am, cos i am shy…But that doesnt mean i am not confident abt my body! lol!

We went to confirm our tixs to indonesia, Medan and Lake Toba. Going to indonesia during CNY. hmm… I miss my frds… was thinking of visiting them but right now, i dun have a plan. The world is in a mess right now…. India, Thailand, Paskitan…. Wonder if Msia will be safe… And i know papa will be very worried if i will to go alone…. I am also a little scared to be honest…. thinking that the policeman there have low wages and bribery is a norm in Msia… Still, i want to go! hmm… will find a way to conquer my fear! Nothing to be afraid of! (=

My sister is telling mi abt the William guy now… He is a legend… soooooo funny! I dun noe if i should say he is slow or stupid or try to hard to impress? I want to meet him in person… Cant stop laughing when my jie re-enact what he had done…

Jie said i have got panda’s eyes….:( I dun want! and i have been trying my best to make myself tired by exercising… but somehow it doesnt work… What happen? Doctor said its not a problem and i dun see it as one too but my mummy is worried… Sometimes, i feel tired but somehow couldnt sleep… I am taking the prescription from the doctor and i drink warm milk at nite… Why still cannot sleep???

I havent been taking naps ever since i came back except for just now while i was watching TV, i just fell alsleep like that…. for abt an hour? or maybe like 45mins… I slept well for that short period… my first proper sleep ever since i came back 3 weeks ago… Maybe i should try to sleep 2 hours in the nite and 2 hours in the day to balance out. I dun want to be panda….:(

ok lah, stop here, i going to try to sleep again….

Still prefer facebook….

Friendster is sooooo slow! i just uploaded some photos and it took mi an hr…. moreover, i cant upload all of them as some of them are more than 2 MB….

Hmm… thinking and thinking…. what i think is morally wrong, i shouldnt do that…. i shouldnt ask for more… afterall, he has got a gf! Greenie, CONTROL URSELF! dun do something wrong!!!!

I will be back on facebook soon! Oops… got caught again… forced to go to bed….
Nitezzzz ppl!

Sometimes love just aint enough

Sharing the lyrics here:

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

Now I could never change you
I dont wanna blame you
Baby you dont have to take the fall
Yes I may have hurt you
But I did not desert you
Maybe I just wanna have it all
It makes a sound like thunder
It makes me feel like rain
And like a fool who will never see the truth
I keep thinking somethings gonna change

But theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart you cant trust
Theres a reason why people dont stay where they are
Baby sometimes love just aint enough

And theres no way home
When its late at night and youre all alone
Are there things that you wanted to say
Do you feel me beside you in your bed
There beside you where I used to lay

And theres a danger in loving somebody too much
And its sad when you know its your heart they cant touch.
Theres a reason why people dont stay who they are
Cause baby sometimes love just aint enough.
Baby sometimes love just aint enough.

Results

Got my results today…. I did quite well… I am happy abt that. Surprizingly, I have a HD for maths….81! I expected lower… Cos i didnt have time to even finish the paper…. How could i have done so well? Hmm… anyway what ever it is, i am happy…

For mi, i am lucky… I am able to choose what i like to study. I always believe that if u like what u are doing, u will tend to do well in it. Some of my friends didnt do so well…. Whatever it is, to all who didnt do so well, its ok, right now, just face the consequences and see if there is anything u can do.

Tok to a friend if u need to, dun keep everything by urself. It will make u feel better. Hmm… didnt do much work today… Have to do work!!!! Argh!!! I am so super lazy!

Watching drama all the time! Angry with myself! ~!@#$%^&*()

A normal day….

Last night, papa and mummy woke up in the middle of the night… not exactly in the middle of the nite but erm… hmm… at abt 430am? i wasnt asleep yet…. rolling on my bed…lol… They woke up becos of a phone call… They missed the call and got worried if the phone call is from my elder sis… she wasnt back at that moment…They were very worried and couldnt sleep untill my sis came home after abt an hour later.

Anyway, thank god everything is fine.

Finally went to see a doctor this afternoon. ya… insomia… I dun really find it a problem but my mum insist that i see a doctor… The doctor precribe mi some pills (not sleeping pills becos he said that most sleeping pills are ban and the only place that i can get sleeping pills is from the mental health intitutes). Well, i didnt want sleep pills in the first place cos i dun want to rely on it… He told mi that some ppl only need 4 hours of sleep per day. As long as they can function well then it is not a problem at all…

I just took the pills that he gave mi.. the pills are suppose to make mi drowny… But it has been an hour since i took it…. He also gave mi anti-stress medication though i told him that i am fine… not stress at all… hmm… nothing that i could thought of to make mi stress well… i should say nothing particular abt mi… i tend to be more consent abt ppl around mi especially my close ones. But at the moment, from what i know, eveyone is doing fine… no one is stress or unhappy. (^.^)

Hmm… going to japan soon…. Still i havent finish my assignment! hmm… but i am not that stress… cos i know i will finish it on time!

hmm… wat more happen today?
hmm… Oh! was silly today. While driving to west mall, i was looking for pizza hut and i made the wrong turn and turned into the translink bus terminal….The glare from those big buses drivers were unpleasant… My sisters were laughing so hard…. Well, i have to admit that i am not good with reading directions, often get lost. But but but, i think i am a good driver and a skillful one.

Fat pay always complain that i always get lost as in she always lost mi. She makes mi sound like a small kid. It happens a few times but,….. really, i dun think it is anyones fault… I was just attracted to something and was just looking at it while she continues walking…. U may ask: Why didnt she call mi… ya… erm… cos most of the time i will forget to bring my cellphone out…..somehow it doesnt affect mi if i dun have my cellphone with me… At most use public phone or seek help from the public lor….

Listening to some old songs now while waiting for the pills to take its effect. I had a glass of warm milk. Doctor said it will help mi sleep better. 2 weeks ago, i just went to party world with my sister to sing! I LOVE SINGING! lol! Think i need to go again.

I bought titi’s birthday present already. Change my mind and got him something else which require mi to do some hands-on stuff… Not easy cos it took mi 2 hours just now just to fix a small part. Havent finish yet. Hopefully, i will be able to sleep soon and wake up early 2mr. hmm… 2mr, first thing have to finish one assignment and the present.

ok lah…. have to try to sleep… stop here. Cheers!

An enjoyable day

I went to orchard with my bff, ps. We watched a movie: The good, the bad and the weird…. Thought it will be good movie since the rating is 4/5…. Turned out… it wasnt that good… While watching the movie, there were 2 boys sitting behind us… They were so irritating and inconsiderate… kept toking during the movie! So selfish and inconsiderate!

Anyway, despite that we went to do some shopping… i have been quite good today, controlling myself not to buy unecessary stuff… Actually i do feel bad that i’m not working… ya… taking my parents $$….

Right now, i am still watching 1 litre of tears.,.. i think i will have more than 1 Litre of tears…. seriously,… Not sure if i wanna continue watching this drama…. its depressing and it just make mi realize the ugly fact that life is unfair…

Should be able to sleep early tonight i guess…. well, hopefully…

We went to a korean restaurant to have dinner. The food was quite good especially the rice cake! Yummy! one of my favourite korean dish apart from kimchi fried rice. Hmm… after i start working and earn enough $$, i will open a korean restaurant. I love korean food! it seems that japanese restaurant is all over singapore.. the market is so saturated… How i hope there can be more Korean restaurant… Korean food is not cheap… well at least for that restaurant…

hmm… i received a msg from my another bff yesterday. He is doing happy. So glad to know that… I had been wondering if he is coping well b4 i got his msg… He is snokling in australia! So cool! Envy… I love outdoor activities and adventure!

Anyway, i shall end here, gng to call my friend now to chit chat a bit, update each other on our lives.

As usual, ending off with:

Stay happy and take care of urself!

A Litre of Tears

As usual, could sleep…. My sister gave mi a website: mysoju.com

I heard abt the japanese drama, 1 Litre if tears and right now, i am watching it. I think i will really have 1 Litre of tears by the end of the drama…Its only the first episode and i am crying like a heavy rain…

I wasnt feeling very well early on…. Should be the tea that i drank…. i think i had too much. I went to the gym today, trying to train hard so that i can have a good sleep tonite… But it seems like it is not working… i am still awake now…

Havent been hearing from a friend for long… and i miss him… wonder how is he… I know he has got problems right now… like his relationship… how i hope i can be with him…. Wonder if he is doing well….

Should i call him?

I dunnoe if thats the right thing to do… fearing that he may be irrtated by mi… But on the other hand, i also fear that he may not have anyone to talk to… Wat should i do…. Maybe the only thing tat i can do now is to just pray for him…. whatever it is i just hope that he is happy.

Well, i shall continue watching my jap drama… and will update u guys if i really have 1 Litre of tears…

Take care ppl!

Cant sleep

For ppl who are close to mi, u all should know that i always cannot sleep early at night…. insomia… ya… thats the reason why i am blogging now…

Since i couldnt sleep, i thought of using this time to plan further for one of my bff’s birthday. I came out with what to give him already but i think he deserve more. I am trying to improvise on my ideas… Cant wait for him to receive his birthday gift from me. I am excited! haha… hmm… by right he should be the one who shld be excited though…. lol!

Anyway, my friends asked mi what i want fo my birthday…. I thought for very long but still cannot give them an answer. As mentioned in my previous post, 3 of my bff are sagittarius which means they will also be celebrating their birthday in dec. One of them wants a shoe rack and the other prefer cash… Hey, btw, if u are thinking my bffs are being very impoliet, nope, they are not. We just think that it will be easier for our friends so that they wont have to brainstorm wat to get for us and risk them getting something that we dun really like. Afterall, everyone deserve to be happy on their birthday and i suppose they will be happy if they get wat they want.

Hmm… what should i have for my birthday? I have no idea… Slimming vouchers? Facial vouchers? Accessries, maybe not cos i always lost them or misplace them, its kind of wasting $$…. hmm… something that  find it useful… hmm… i want something that i want but i will not buy it for myself….

Oh ya! Titi’s birthday is 3 days away… hmm… thank god, i have already thought of wat to buy for him long ago…. heehee,… not going to tell u guys.

I wonder hows Sherri doing…. Wonder if she will feel lonely since we all left… I should have left a note or a card for her. hmm…

Stillnot tired after blogging…. i shall continue to think what i should think next lah….lol!

May all enjoy this long break! be happy!

A new start

I am back on friendster! I was addicted to facebook after i came back to singapore…. And i just deactivated it becos i know i am a facebook addict… Since i am doing summer course, to keep myself focus, i have to delete it…

Anyway, i have been good. Eat well but not sleep well…but overall, quite happy. Dec is the month when i will spend most $$… Cos 3 of my bff have birthday on dec…. and this year, one of them is turning 21. I planned 3 surprises for him…. and one of it can be expensive and time consuming… but i guess he deserve it for being my bff. (=

Went for shesha smoking at Arab street this afternoon and dinner with a few of my friends. The dinner was at a classy restaurant, a romantic one and the food was really good especially the one i had- baby back ribs…. Yummy… Its quite pricy but once in a while i think its ok to spend that kind of $$ on dinner.

I was talking to my friends abt disliking someone. hmm… I then realize something… Well, i use to worry that ppl will know that i dun like them… Dun ask mi why i worry, maybe becos i am trying to be Ms nice?…. After discussing with my frds, i realize, well, its ok to show ppl that u dun like them… i mean if u dun like someone, u dun have to try to like them and its perfectly ok that they know.  yay! Now, i dun think i will be concerned if ppl can see that i dun like them… Well, i dun mind if ppl dun like mi. nono, maybe i should say, i will mind if i regard the person as my close friend. Anyway, feels so good after realizing that it is perfectly ok to dislike someone, it is neither a crime or a sin. (^.^). I dun have to pretend to be nice. From today, if i dislike someone, i wont pretend to like him/her! yay! Happy!